Sasquatch Cat

      Some gifts are more precious than others, and Sol came to us as a gift of pure sunshine. The Forest People rescued him from near death after his woodland caretaker passed away of old age.  We thank the Sasquatch and all the good forces that brought him into our circle.  He is fearless, gentle and loving, a guardian spirit of perseverance and courage.  If a cat can be certain of himself, Sol is just that.  Nothing rattles him, not even the vacuum cleaner.

     His one peculiar quirk is his friendship with mice.  You would think that after living in the woods and nearly starving, he’d be a ravenous mouse carnivore, but he’s not.  He does enjoy catching and toying with them and is quite skillful in that regard.  The problem being, is that he then brings them into the house and lets them go.  I have tried to explain to him that we do not condone mice taking up residence in the house, would he please keep his little friends outside, but he just smiles, blinks his eyes, and brings them inside anyway.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 2

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Our Sasquatch cat, Sol, was talking up a storm the other day.  Usually, I can at least decipher the drift of what he is trying to get across to me, but unlike the Sasquatch, I am not a mind reader.  He kept trying to tell me something that he considered to be important.  I finally asked if he was scolding me for some misdeed?

     That got his attention.  He jumped up into my lap and swatted the cellphone, then jumped down and swatted his catnip mouse.  

     I figured he wanted to play, so we played for awhile.  We had a good time, but he still kept on and on about something else, giving me a verbose dressing down every few minutes about whatever it was that was bothering him.  

     I finally gave up, shrugged my shoulders and went back to checking my messages and the news videos on my phone.  Sol planted himself in front of the TV, looked at it, looked at me, and repeated his beef until I got up and collected the remote.  I turned the TV on with the sound muted.  He watched intently and added some rather colorful commentary.  Then the pictures started to change.  A CNN reporter shape-shifted into a panicked mouse with beady eyes and buck teeth.

     As I continued to watch, the picture changed to a commercial of a woman euphorically prancing around in the greenery and sunshine of Hollywood.  She was selling the wondrous, delusional reality of a psychiatric drug I cannot recall the name of nor pronounce anyway.  Then came a grey haired, smiling man with a big placard telling us we needed to get our Johnson & Pfizer booster jabs so Bill Gates could download an mRNA virus into our DNA in order to connect us up with Mark Zuckerberg’s metaverse.  


     Sol pounced on the remote and tapped a button that switched the TV over to a YouTube channel.  A program I had never seen before came up.  It was a Podcast by a guy named Neal Fox.  Sol looked at me and smiled.  

     Our Sasquatch cat seems perfectly happy now, he never misses a single episode of Uncle Neal’s Neighborhood.  Neither do I.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 3

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Our Sasquatch cat, Sol, having come to us by way of the forest and the Bigfoot giants of Big Creek, is not immune to the playful Sasquatch game of cat and mouse.  Or maybe, it was a special occasion like his birthday that brought the Sasquatch around to celebrate with Sol by rapping knick-knack-patty-whack on the walls and roof of our home.  In any event, it was a noisy and eventful night for all of us.  

      Sol was unfazed, he thought it was great.  He bounced helter-skelter from room to room, ricocheting off all the furniture like a super ball in an effort to catch a glimpse of the big guys from every window.  He’s been talking about the Sasquatch and their antics all day.  He’s especially taken by the cat’s eye the Forest People left by the backdoor.  I do not know if the gift is an ancient petrified eye from some creature, or just a symbolic seeing or watching stone.  It is certainly unique.  All Bigfoot stones seem to have their own special powers—be it their healing properties, visionary capabilities or intentional resonance.  This gem, I believe, was left to keep an eye on us.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 4

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     I was hard at work in the office when Sol, our Sasquatch cat, jumped up on my desk and sat on my paperwork.  He then proceeded to swat my pen until I put it down.  

     I politely asked him what he wanted.

     He gave me a quick kiss and a couple of head bumps, meowed,  then jumped off the desk, and dashed from the room.  

     A minute later, when I did not respond properly, Sol returned with impatient chatter, imploring me to hurry up and follow him to the kitchen.  There, he promptly stood on his hind legs and pressed his front paws and nose to the window.  When I joined him and peered out, an opossum the size of a large raccoon was peering longingly straight back us.  The possum’s pink hands were swimming around on the glass in an attempt to reach in and touch Sol.  I got the distinct impression they had been previously acquainted.  

     “Hey!” I called.  “Are you an old forest friend of Sol’s by any chance?”

     The possum turned his eyes to me and twitched his nose, then his lips moved as if he were speaking to me, but no discernible sound could be heard through the glass.  Sol went completely bonkers and did three of four somersaults off the glass.  This action really got the possum’s attention and he tumbled over backwards where he lay unmoving with his feet in the air.  Sol looked questioningly at the possum, then gave me a dirty look as if it were all my fault.  

     “Well, what did you expect?” I said.  “He’s an opossum.”

     Sol extracted his claws and tapped the glass, but the possum did not respond.  Sol then gave me one more accusatory look, shrugged his tail and wandered off to take a bath.  When I looked back out the window the possum was gone, but I did catch a glimpse of the backend of a Sasquatch disappearing into the trees.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 5

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Sol is not your stereotypical overweight, lazy, house cat.  Having spent his early years living among the Sasquatch, he is in top physical form and enhances his daily physical and mental acuity by joining me in my morning exercises.  I do a routine of breathing, isometrics, cardio and yoga from which Sol discriminately picks and chooses.  He especially likes a yoga exercise called “Salute The Sun” as well as a strenuous set of good old fashioned pull-ups that he does on his scratch post platform.  His favorite though, is joining me in my ending exercise called corpse pose.  This exercise is a breathing and intention exercise for expanding oneself out into the Sasquatch Stream of Consciousness.  

     Around about the time when we wrap it up, is when some of Sol’s wildlife friends usually come around and we hear the doorbell ring.  This is not an ordinary doorbell, but an old copper bell hung on the doorknob of the door that leads from the garage.  Sol has learned how to ring this bell when he wants to be let out to frolic.  He does this by standing up and swatting the bell like Mohammed Ali punching on a speed bag.  It is my duty to immediately respond or I will hear his paws scratching rapidly in an attempt to turn the door knob (of which he has done a time or two before).  

     Today, a Sasquatch friend posing as a blue jay, is waiting.  When I open the door, the jay flutters and greets Sol with a raucous flurry of squawks, then a challenging sally of playful dives above Sol’s head.  Sol responds with leaping paw swats, then gives me a big smile as they both take flight for a weeping willow overhanging Turtle Creek.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 6

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     The supernatural powers of the Sasquatch are becoming more and more apparent to many in the Bigfoot Community.  Their existence is not a TV show.  It is a game, yet not a game.  We will see how it plays out. 

     After a long day of cleaning out the garden shed, I fell asleep on the couch with our Sasquatch cat, Sol, dozing peacefully on my chest.  It was near dusk when I abruptly awoke to something wet and cold nudging my hand.  When I turned my head to look, there was a huge raccoon nuzzling and snuffling at my dangling fingers.  Seeing me in my entirety, he realized I was an awake human and his big eyes bulged in their sockets.  The coon freaked, turned on its haunches, and began spinning his feet on the hardwood floor.  Unable to find purchase, he just hovered there, running in place at full throttle.

     Sol awoke to the screeching, claw-clicking commotion and leapt straight in the air above my chest, his eyes and hair electrified.  As he hung there in startled suspension, the coon finally gained his footing and took off, flickering in and out of focus like an old black and white TV.

     In the ensuing confusion and shock, both Sol and I gathered our wits and hightailed it up off the couch and out the door in hot pursuit.  What we encountered was a huge shadowy figure, no longer a coon but a Bigfoot wavering and looking back from the garden gate.  He dissolved into smoke and evaporated.

     Sol and I looked at each other, grinned and shook our heads.  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 7

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Sasquatch Cat apparently pride’s himself as a mathematician or maybe he secretly works for the IRS.  Anything is possible these days.  The Sasquatch transmigrate into and out of our dimension all the time, they come and go sporting all sorts of impersonations, so why can’t our Sasquatch cat be an accountant or an IRS agent.

     Doing taxes is not the easiest nor neatest of endeavors, but I have to say, when you add a cat into the monetary mix, it can certainly turn into a head-game of Sasquatchery in a hurry.  Piles of documents are better scrutinized spread all over the floor and shuffled like decks of cards.  Some are even best shredded when the math doesn’t add up.  This is all accomplished, of course, in the Clintonesque depths of the night when I am dreaming of a refund to monetize a surf fishing expedition to Barbados.

     I do believe the most rewarding aspect of having a Sasquatch cat as an accountant, however, is the pride. 

     “Look what I did,” he chides.  “Isn’t it the most beautiful display of paper mosaic art that you have ever witnessed?  I did it all for you!”  

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 8

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Sol, our Sasquatch cat has always had an eye for the little things, always waiting for that twitch of a finger in order to elicit a butt wiggle and pounce.  But his energy level and awareness have escalated even further since I placed my collection of Sasquatch stones throughout the house.  I knew these empowered stones were having a big impact on me, but I never thought of the impact they might have on the energy state and emotional tone of our Sasquatch cat.  Their impact on both of us has been quite dramatic.

     I think we both respond especially well to the love, courage and happiness stones.  These qualities are held in high esteem and abundance among the Sasquatch and in our household.  The one Bigfoot stone, however, that we dearly seem to lack, is the  responsibility stone.  Sol nor I, are bound by boundaries.  No empty spaces are beyond our will for filling or emptying them— tabletops, countertops, closet shelves, boxes, storage cabinets, desks, etc., are our playgrounds.  

     When Sol or I topple something, our response is always a bug-eyed look of complete innocence, as if the thing had actually fallen or moved on its own volition.  We attribute this scenario to the Sasquatch knack of being able to imbue life into the inanimate, and like the quantum charged Sasquatch stones that they have gifted to us, everything in our vicinity now vibrates to the frequency of the Sasquatches’ energy directed intentions.  Our lack of ownership or responsibility for the breakage or movement of any objects is thus easy explained.  We didn’t do it.   

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat
Episode 9

The Adventures of Sasquatch Cat 

     Sol, our Sasquatch Cat and his Bigfoot friend Koda often discuss how unaware humans can be.  I can hear them chuckling and whispering in the wee hours of the morning when I am floating in that strange universe between awakening and sleep.  Early this morning they were busy making fun of me, and then became philosophical and daunted by why so many humans think they have evolved from apes.  

     “What a cat box full of crap!” Sol mused. “Did you guys “thought implant” the human race with that foolish idea or something?”

     “They act like it, don’t they?” Koda chuckled.  “They run around like Pavlov’s programmed chimpanzees, chasing their false ideas about the reality of us Sasquatch— as if we were nothing but a physical representation of a prehistoric gorilla, instead of the highly advanced and sentient beings we actually are.”

     “You a gorilla?  Now that’s funny!  I got nothing against gorillas, but a gorilla can’t read minds and shape-shift into a crow or a raccoon.”

     “Can Humans?” Koda sarcastically asked Sol.

     “Actually, our human can do a bit of mind reading of sorts,” Sol explained.  “He can see my mental image thoughts of the immediate future when he doesn’t want me jumping on tables and such things.  He’s actually pretty good at it and tells me he knows what I am thinking.  But shape-shifting?  I can’t even do any of that myself, and I’m way above his delusional ascendancy grade.”

     “Maybe I could teach you,” Koda mused. “Wouldn’t that be fun?  You could shape-shift into a dog and bark at yourself.”

     “Ha, ha, very funny.  I enjoy being just who I am, Sol the Sasquatch Cat.  I got these humans completely charmed and under my control. I want to keep it that way.”

     “Ya, I suppose so, and if they want to continue to think they’re an evolved ape, we should let them.  We the Sasquatch are certainly amused at their efforts to take our photograph and/or kill one of us so they can have a Bigfoot body to parade around as physical proof we exist.  They have no idea of the truth of our existence beyond physical, but to answer your original question, we did not “thought implant” them.  They have a thing called TV that does an excellent job at doing that.  It is called repetitive and collective brain washing, where humans are bombarded with false data that supplants their innate wisdom to see and think for themselves.  They join the matrix and collectively lose their ability to reason with intuition and knowingness.”

     “I think there are still some normal humans that can do that.” Sol pondered, “but the majority are incarcerated in government schools from a young age through adulthood, until they get the egotistical concept that they have advanced to a higher realm of knowing something.  That something is unfortunately, far from true knowing, it is a substitute that allows them to unknowingly do some sort of slavic, life consuming task for the matrix.”  

     “Yup, then I guess maybe they have it right.  The did evolve from apes.”